Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Today's Indignity

I went go-carting with my co-workers, as part of a company social event. While we were preparing for our turn (receiving a safety lecture from a teenaged employee who, despite shouting every word, could not be heard over the drone of two dozen lawnmowers zipping past on the track a few feet away), I looked around for a helmet small enough to fit my tiny head. I managed to grab the only helmet labelled "small", but there was a good inch of clearance on either side. I put it on anyway, and it wobbled comically like a bobblehead. The safety lecture wrapped up and I flagged down the employee.

"That's too big for you!?" He asked, perplexed. "Ok, lemme go see what I can find."

He disappeared into the kids section and returned a few minutes later with what I hope was not actually a child's helmet. Across the back of it, someone had written in large block letters "EXTRA SMALL". I put it on and cinched up the strap as tightly as I could.

Apparently, a large portion of the safety lecture was about the importance of not ramming one another with the go-carts (Side note: I'm sure if I had been able to hear the lecture, I would have agreed to the "no ramming" rule, with a wink -I promise I will not ram my co-workers with my go-cart ...I am totally going to ram my co-workers with my go-cart). I think I owe my co-workers a big 'thank you' for not targeting the dork with "EXTRA SMALL" written across the back of her head.