Sunday, September 25, 2005

the many uses of dead rats

Most people don't like rats. I don't mind them at all. In fact, they are my second-favourite animal (rabbits are first).

I took Biology 11 just for the rat dissection. On the day of the dissection, I came to class 5 minutes early and picked out the biggest rat in the bucket. I took longer than anyone else because I just didn't want it to end.
When I finished, I took my rat to the back of the room for disposal. There, in a tray on the counter, looking very surreal, was a big pile of dead rats. A pile of dead rats. I knew what I had to do.

I used pins to patch my rat back together, and stabbed two probes into his sides. I pulled his mouth wide open, stabbed a third probe into his back, and stood him up on top of the pile with his front legs sticking up. A very triumphant-looking rat.

Unfortunately, my (humourless) teacher was horrified when she saw this. Of course, she already hated me because three days earlier I had thrown a rat pelt at her, which my brother, James had saved from his rat dissection.

11 Comments:

At 10:44 AM, Blogger G said...

That's... really... nice to know, Thea. I'm... glad... you shared that with us.

 
At 11:46 AM, Anonymous joyce said...

is that where u got your name from...?

it's quite gross... can't believe u did that....... wait. i do believe u're capable of doing that. even worse!

 
At 11:47 AM, Blogger thea said...

Galen, you're just as humourless as my grade 11 biology teacher.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger thea said...

that's part of where I got my name from. The other half of the story is much less interesting.

 
At 3:03 PM, Blogger Dickolas Wang said...

What, the other half of the name doesn't come from your having superpowers?

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger Thomas Nguyen said...

That is quite amazing, to bad you didn't do up some more rats so that it looked likey were all charging for the top of the pile of rats.

Who will be the true Rat King? You'll just have to wait and see.

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger G said...

I think if you had the rat holding up a flag, it'd be cool. Or two of them posed as if they were fighting each other.

Or just put on a nametag: "Splinter"

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger G said...

Sorry, it should be, "Master Splinter"

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger Dickolas Wang said...

I was somehow thinking of the rat as the soldiers in that picture of Iwo Jima, so I'm glad Galen verbalized it.

 
At 10:42 PM, Anonymous joyce said...

u ppl are all weird! lol

so, y did u throw the rat pelt at your teacher...??

 
At 11:46 PM, Blogger thea said...

because she didn't believe me that I had a rat pelt. And I didn't really like her. And it was really, really funny.

Actually, I'm surprised I don't do this to people more often.

 

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