Wednesday, May 30, 2018

I've embarrassed myself more than usual

I made friends with the janitor at work, and he started giving me free toilet paper to take home. The relationship consists of nods, waves, and the occasional gift of non-quilted, two-ply, office supply bathroom tissue. Bathroom-wise, I've been on top of the world.

Until this week. After finishing up my Monday morning toilet activities, I flushed and watched with panic as the water began to rise instead of draining. I exited the stall, looking for a plunger. Nothing. I tried flushing again; same result. There was nothing more I could do, so I washed my hands and fled the scene of the crime. "At least nobody will know it was me!" I thought to myself. I left the bathroom, and immediately ran into the janitor, who appeared to have been waiting for me to come out.

Now I don't know for sure that he knows it was me. All I know is he saw me coming out of the bathroom, after taking much longer than I should, and he possibly heard multiple flushes. He was then confronted with a befouled and non-functioning toilet.

I also know that I stopped receiving free toilet paper.


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