Dad

Dad Facts:

-dad does not have time for your crap

-when dad was your age, his dad never did stuff like this for him

-you can cut the snark

When my brothers and I were kids, dad used to tell us to "can the sarcasm". On one such occasion, we took a can of beans from the pantry and relabelled it "Sarcasm". We added some clever bullet points like "25% more attitude" and "The last thing you need!"

Dad kept that little can for about ten years (ten years longer than he kept any of our school art projects). I like to think that sometimes, late at night, he would go to the kitchen for a snack and find that can and remember that he had raised a bunch of hilarious little snots.