Today at Work

customer: can I ask you a favour?

manager: we don't do favours.

customer: but I'm a paying customer!

me: no favours; it's store policy.

customer: but I'm buying something!

manager: what are you buying?

customer: this candle.

manager: Oh, a whole candle!? How much is that, $2.37? Are you mad? We can't keep that kind of cash lying around here. I'll do a bank run right away so I can deposit $2.37. Thea, get me my running shoes.