where I get it from

As usual, conversations with my mother are an excellent source of blog fodder.

mom: ...so James loaned me his paintball gun. That's not illegal, is it? Shooting people who come onto my lawn?

me: if they're gonna start cracking down on that activity in your neighbourhood, I doubt they'll start with you. Why don't you just set up a trip wire?

mom: we didn't have the stuff to make one.

...

mom: when I visited your little cousins in Toronto, I told them about the time I took them to the circus.

me: you never took them to the circus.

mom: I know. I'm trying to implant false memories.