Friday, December 07, 2007

Two Cats With One Stone

In response to the requests from last week's comments, here is a conversation involving my mother and cat jokes. It took place two years ago at a family dinner with my grandpa.

Grandpa: You know who died last week? Mr. Whiskers.

(Mr. Whiskers is the man's real name)

Mom: He worked with the cadets, didn't he. (snickering) Sergeant Whiskers. How could anyone take him seriously?

Dan: and it only gets funnier as he goes up the ranks... Admiral Whiskers.

Mom: Top Gun Whiskers!

(Everyone laughs, except grandpa)

Grandpa: he was a really nice guy. Lived to 68.

Dad: what's that in cat years?

Grandpa: The cadets are doing a special thing for the funeral.

Me: they're gonna bury him in a giant cardboard shoe box!

Mom: I'll do the eulogy. I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix Meow Mix, please deliver.

(at this point, we are all laughing too hard to speak, except for grandpa, who just looks sad)

A few days later, we found an old newspaper with his obituary and photograph in it. Mom wanted to scan it into the computer so we could photoshop some ears and whiskers onto his picture and send it to grandpa, but we decided that that would be distasteful.


At 4:26 PM, Blogger Peter Lynn said...

This is hilarious. I'm laughing out loud.

At 11:49 AM, Blogger McAnerbot said...

The best part is that it was Thea who STEPPED OVER THE LINE!

Thea wins for most inappropriate remark amongst many, MANY inappropriate remarks.

At 12:53 PM, Anonymous dan said...

I think what's funny is that in fact this is a much-shortened version of the full conversation.

the full conversation will be lost to the sands of time, to be sure, but it was about 5 minutes long, and did include several witty remarks that failed on account of the speaker losing themself to tears of laughter.

I'm sure grandpa was really impressed by how maturely we all handled the death of poor mr. whiskers.

At 1:20 PM, Blogger Nic said...

That was funny....but poor grandpa :(



At 1:23 PM, Blogger Nic said...

Wait a hot-danged minute.......! I'm on your blog-roll now. When did this happen? I'm not even prepared! I don't know what to do! Ahhhhhhhhh!

*Having a breakdown over the new pressure of keeping you mildly entertained*


At 7:39 PM, Anonymous Jim said...

that made me laugh till i cried...good stuff!

At 9:56 PM, Blogger thea said...

Nic, you've been on my blogroll for months now. Your blog is plenty entertaining, but even if it weren't, that last post would have redeemed even the crappiest blog.

At 9:58 PM, Blogger thea said...

thanks, Jim. Regardless of how it's done, I like to make people cry.


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