The Full Monty.

When "The Full Monty" came out, most of my classmates were forbidden from seeing it. My class was full of Mormons.

While we were at our ski cabin, my mother took me to the local general store, and told me I could pick out any movie.

I chose "The Full Monty".

She had never heard of the movie, and asked my uncle, "Is she allowed to watch this?"

He said, "Oh sure. Nothing wrong with that. Just a bunch of male strippers."

She didn't pick up on the sarcasm, and probably didn't hear the entire sentence. I was allowed to watch the movie.

I briefly worked for my father.

He put me on a project called, Fully Automated Relay Testing System

And he laughed, saying, "Now you can put FARTS on your resume!"

He kept laughing. He laughed so hard, I was worried we would have to take him to the hospital.

driver's license

I have to get my driver's license renewed.

I am frequently mistaken for a man, because I look like a man. It doesn't offend me, I just roll with it. Recently, a friend gave me a haircut, and made me look even more like a man. Picture Tig Notaro, except less attractive. And less talented.

Anyway. The driver's license. I sure hope they also renew my gender.

The Winter Olympics

My father is a major fan of the Winter Olympics. When I was a kid, we didn't have cable tv. We did have crappy "bunny ears" antennae, which got us the CBC, but it required one of us (for technical reasons, it had to be a child) to stand behind the tv and hold the antennae. 

Every four years, my father would build a giant antenna, that went out the back door, wrapped around the house, came in through my bedroom window, and then went back to the tv. It worked! We got three channels clearly and could watch the Olympic games. Of course, we couldn't lock the house up properly, because we couldn't close the back door. Quoth my father, "Whatever."

We generally left our house unlocked anyway.

During the 1998 Winter Olympics in Nagano, we watched Herman Maier crash spectacularly on the men's slalom. I regret that I didn't think of the perfect thing to say until 20 years later: "Oh, the Hermanity!"

A few hours after that event, the power went out. Dad was initially distraught and furious, then loaded us kids and a generator into his truck, and drove to our grandparents house. They had cable, but had also lost power. He used the generator to run the tv. And we left our house unlocked.

the toonie

When the toonie first came out, it featured Queen Elizabeth on one side, and a polar bear on the other. Dad was excited to get home and show me. He ran up the stairs, and said, "Look! It's the Queen... with a bear behind!"

The Math Department.

When I was at UBC, studying math, some fancy board of directors decided to remove all the chalkboards and replace them with whiteboards.

The math professors were furious -the UBC math department has a reputation of being a bit stodgy. They launched a campaign to keep the chalkboards. They didn't want projectors, or whiteboards. They needed their old chalkboards. They referred to the chalkboards as "Weapons of Math Instruction".

It was successful. They got to keep their chalkboards.

Hobbies

 My current hobbies are:

-talking about how late I started puberty

-talking about how early I've entered menopause

-tooth decay

Why am I not getting any hits on dating apps?