Thursday, April 12, 2012

back in the big city

I'm back in Vancouver and I'm feeling social, so call me up. Hotties only, please.

Monday, April 09, 2012


As I mentioned before, my father found my blog. I was worried about some of the things that he might read here, but instead he was offended by what he didn't read.

"There's almost no mention of me on your blog," he complained. "I thought I was a huge influence on you."

He is, and he probably doesn't remember this, but when I was about twelve years old my dad asked me, as many parents do, what I wanted to be when I grow up. I don't remember what I said, but my career aspirations at that age were rather humble, so I probably said something like, "painter" or "stock boy". And I will never forget what he said to me that day. He said, "You can do anything you want, but that's a crappy job. Pick something else."


About a year ago, at the behest of my friend Rory and my ex-boyfriend Tim, I wrote some jokes for an amateur comedy event. The jokes went well with most of my friends and, feeling over-confident, I decided to tell them to my father. I went through my favourite jokes while he watched me over his coffee mug, his face expressionless. When I finished, he said, "I made mistakes raising you, but this is not my fault." He walked away, sipping his coffee.

Dad's response settled the matter, or at least seared itself into my memory for eternity (and only my memory. My father has no recollection of this event, but chuckled heartily when I told him what he said). I am neither a comedian nor a stock boy and if it weren't for him, I would probably be both.

Sunday, April 01, 2012

I am a good friend

My brother found a scrap of paper on which I had scribbled an incomplete letter to a friend, to be included in an email. I don't remember the exact scenario which drove me to draft such an email, but to my recollection it was for a friend in a time of need, and I don't believe I ever sent it.

"I'm glad we have a mutual interest, and I hope it will strengthen our relationship. We're good friends and I hope we'll be in eachother's lives forever, so I think it's time we made a pact: if you're still single in ten years call me, and you can watch me banging my partner."