Friday, April 12, 2013

Somebody get a medic! There's a little boy caught in the escalator!

Earlier this week, as I was passing through Metrotown Station on my way home from work, I saw a woman get caught by the hem of her skirt at the base of the escalator. I ran to help her (you may assume I did this out of common decency. In reality, when I see someone struggling to do something, I assume they are doing it the wrong way and need me to save them from their own idiocy).

I quickly realized that getting someone uncaught from an escalator is very difficult for a few reasons. Mainly, there is nowhere to stand because everything is moving. I crouched precariously around her ankles, with one foot on the glass part of the handrail. This gave me some leverage as I tried to wrench her skirt free. It probably also made her feel even more awkward.

It took a few minutes to get it out, and I actually ended up tearing a large piece off. By the time I was done, her skirt and my hands were covered in black grease. She thanked me and we both looked at the greasy, tattered remains of her skirt. I tried to think of something helpful to say.

Then a homeless man walked by and pointed at her skirt and said loudly, "THAT LOOKS REALLY GOOD."

Which made us both laugh, and was more helpful than any of the escalator-related quotes from the 1995 movie "Mallrats" that I would have eventually blurted out.