Monday, January 18, 2010

bathroom humour

Today in class, while running through some basic Matlab features, our professor reminded us that, "at the end of a command in Matlab the semicolon suppresses output." And I thought to myself, "Well I have an entire colon which facilitates output."

Saturday, January 16, 2010

cheap laughs at work

boss: it's just us two today, but I think we can make it because we're such a good team. We should have a team name.

me: teeeeeeeeam RETARD!


customer: I can't seem to find my wife.

me: would you like me to page her?

customer: would you? Her name's Wendy.


Saturday, January 02, 2010

Holiday Highlights

-I dressed up as an elf for work. I ended up looking more like a homeless elf.

-I was invited to two turkey dinners at friends places. Twice the food comas, none of the clean-up.

-my mother got me a gift which she claims, "every twenty five year old man wants". Last year a co-worker of mine asked me if I was a man. I don't think I look very masculine, so I decided to test it by trying to start a rumour that I'm transgendered. Nobody bit except, apparently, my own mother.

-my friends Corey and Rory bought me a sandwich grill, so I've been eating reubens almost every day since Christmas Day. I've got more swiss cheese flowing through my veins than I have blood. If they had a breathalyzer for cheese intake, it would be illegal for me to drive.