my ex visited

me: I'm just trying my best to be normal.

my ex: Being normal is totally my thing! Now put on your cow costume and let's go to bed.

For context, I have a zip-up cow onesie that I sometimes sleep in because it's warm.

my brother

My brother, Dan, saved my life when I was a kid. He saved me from drowning. He didn't even think about it, he just plunged in and pulled me out of the river, risking his own life to save mine.

I love him so much.

When he dies, I want to die. So we can be buried together in bunk coffins, and presumably get a discount on burial costs.

I'm a bit pale.

my ex: Let's meet at your favourite place in the world. The produce section at Whole Foods.

me: God dammit, what am I, the whitest person you know?

And then I realized, I most likely am the whitest person he knows.

the skylight

In my childhood home, there was a gigantic skylight in our kitchen. The roof was sloped and the ceiling was flat, so it was a big vertical tunnel from ceiling to roof. My brothers were staring up into that skylight, and one of them noted that you could actually fit an entire person into it.

They asked our father, "Can we throw Thea into the skylight?"

He said, "We'd be idiots not to!"

He picked me up and instructed me, "Keep everything tucked in. Grab your knees." And then he threw me into the skylight. For one glorious second, I was up in the skylight.

And yes, they caught me on the way down. I didn't just smack onto the floor.