Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Screaming Barfies

I spent most of last weekend feeling pretty sick. I ate some Chinese take out Friday night, and by early Saturday morning realized that I had either food poisoning, or a really bad case of sudden-onset bulimia. Andrea insisted that I had stomach AIDS, but either way I was forced to call in sick to work after puking up what looked like a partially digested internal organ.

Some conclusions: no matter how hard I try, I cannot scream while barfing (the title is something my brother once claimed to have been afflicted with after leaving a White Spot). Also, it's difficult to come up with good onomatopoeia for vomiting. Achewood is an excellent resource for this.

Friday, March 27, 2009

properly storing your bundle of joy

Today I received a pamphlet in the mail about safety, which my mother picked up at the store where she found the go-kart and rocket launcher. She found it so amusing that she mailed it to me, after adding a few comments of her own. The pamphlet compared some unsafe practices to hilariously obvious examples and pictures of dangerous behaviour, such as building your child's car seat out of scrap lumber and rope.

For a safety pamphlet, it was actually pretty funny. It's a good thing they didn't use the example of repurposing a dresser drawer as a crib for your infant daughter, as that would have been much less obvious to my parents, and the humour would have missed the mark.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

bed bath and beyond

So my mother called today to tell me that she had picked out Christmas presents for my brothers and I, and was about to load them into the car and pay for them when she found out that they were not for sale. She was extremely disappointed, and so was I when I found out that she had picked an off-road go-kart for me ('cause she knows I always wanted one when I was a kid), and for my brothers, "the coolest little rocket launcher" (although actually it wasn't little at all; it was large enough to be illegal to use within city limits). The first obvious question is, where is she doing her shopping these days? And the second, if she is shopping at a place that displays go-karts and rocket launchers, then why did I get bedding for my birthday?