Thursday, May 29, 2008

Poof! No Eyebrows.

I stole that title from Patrick F. McManus. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you might know that I once caused a fire in my yard trying to reheat some french fries.

Idiocy like this apparently runs in the family. Last night my brother blew the lid off a barbeque and reduced his eyebrows to two lines of scorched stubble while cooking chicken. It was spectacular, and once the smell of burning hair passed, the smell of perfectly cooked chicken was wonderful. But there's a reason why his catastrophe ended with an edible product and mine didn't: he has a culinary arts degree.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Out of Town

If you want your family to like you, disappear for a long time. Then the next time they see you, they'll be happy enough that you're still alive, they wont care that you're doing nothing worthwhile with your life.

I had been living in my friend's closet, which is pretty sweet. It's actually more of a storage room attached to the living room. There's not enough space to stand up, but it has all the most important features that I like in a bedroom: a door, a bed, and a working light. Plus there's no window to let in any pesky natural light, so it's easy to sleep until 3 in the afternoon.

I would still be there now, had I not been tipped off that my mother was planning to sell my little old tv in a garage sale. I guess it was technically my dad's tv, not mine, but I had to save it. It's tiny, it's black and white, and I used to watch grainy Degrassi High reruns on it. So I'm back on the island for a bit.

There isn't much fun involved in helping run a garage sale, but I do like to bargain in the wrong direction to confuse the customers. I would also have liked to wait until we a had a bit of a crowd, then loudly say to my brother, "if anyone needs me, I'll be in the trailer having a power dump." I didn't have to try that one to know that it wouldn't go over well. Nobody here has any appreciation for my sense of humour.

Also unavailable here:

-dental floss and toothpaste
-any kind of privacy

I'll be back in Vancouver soon.