Tuesday, September 06, 2011

dry heave

My roommate does this adorable thing where she buys a big bag of produce, eats ten per cent of it, then leaves the rest in the refrigerator so we can watch it slowly break down over the following months.

Today I cleaned out the fridge and removed a bag of carrots that was black and orange and gooey and looked like a bag of Halloween taffy that had melted in the sun. Even worse was a shrinkwrapped cucumber from early July, which left behind a snail trail of yellowy liquid when I took it from the refrigerator shelf. Now I'm drinking her beer because removing that cucumber was like picking up a giant, slimy flacid penis (something I haven't done in years, and also required beer).

The best way for me to deal with traumatizing things like this, is to document them in detail, and then put them on my blog.