difficulties being serious

my boss: can you take Mike's shift tomorrow? We're at the hospital with him now, and we think his throat has ruptured, or his tonsils have exploded or something; he's coughing up lots of blood.
me: that's awful! I was in the middle of spaghetti.

from a few years ago:

roommate: I'm so sorry about your grandmother. If there's anything I can do, anything at all, you just let me know.
me: give me your Gamecube.

Luckily both conversations were via email or texting, and by the time I had finished keying out a response, I had reconsidered. In real time, without that slight lag, I'm a total jackass.