good idea? Or great idea?

I want to date a man with an androgynous name so I can refer to him as "my life partner" to freak my parents out. Then they'll meet him and see that he's a man, and that's when I'll tell them I'm getting a sex change.

This Concludes Science Degree Two: The Drunkening

I've got three more exams, and then I'm done with school. I've reminded my grandparents at least twice that I'm graduating this year, but I can't blame them for not remembering or caring. This will be my third graduation in the last ten years, and I have cried wolf at least once. My whole family came to my highschool graduation, which was memorable more for the scene created by my brother Dan at the buffet than for celebrating a milestone in my life.

As a teenager, Dan approached communal food with a competitive attitude. From the minute we arrived at the school, he stood by the folding tables of food, continuously reloading his plate and eating. He was working through the second platter of sandwiches, when he held one up and remarked to our father, "I don't know how many more of these I can eat; it's starting to really hurt" before popping it in his mouth. Some popular girls from my class came up to me, visibly put off, and said, "Your brother is eating everything!"

I didn't go to convocations when I graduated in 2007, and I don't plan on going this year either. I'm not big on fancy ceremonies and nothing's going to top my last graduation experience. I do like free food, and there will probably be plenty there, but I would rather see my brother gorge himself to painful satisfaction while my peers look on, appalled and disgusted.

Because that's what graduations are all about.