What's Irish and stays out all year?

Patty O'Furniture.

More Roadkill

in the car with my grandma

me: watch out for the old lady on the crosswalk.

grandma: oh, but old ladies are worth 200 points. Why do you think I always run across? Because people want those points.


later, at dinner

grandma: you have got to be the slowest eater in the world.

me: yeah, well, that's because I chew.

grandma: was that a shot? Because I don't have teeth?

grandpa: dang, Millie. She got you good.

Roadkill

I hit a racoon with my brother's car last night. It was an accident, but I feel terrible about it. Why, why, couldn't it have been a cat?