My New House

So I moved again.

My new room is nice, but I somehow managed to downsize. My last room was slightly larger than a station wagon, so this doesn't even seem possible, but there is no configuration of bed, nightstand and child-sized desk which allows the door to open more than a foot.

The window to my room is directly across from the neighbour's bathroom. They have a textured glass window and I have blinds, but this is no match for their extreme lighting setup. Maybe they've got an entire wall covered in halogens, or maybe they have a cow-sized chandelier in there, but every day at 6am my room lights up like a solarium.

We have vermin. I have lived in houses infested with mice, spiders, ants and crickets. This is my first cockroach experience, and I'm not impressed. Even my best friends have to ask before eating my food or leaving an egg sack in the cutlery drawer.

Overall, the place gets a D in my books, which is especially crappy considering that I once lived in a basement storage room with no door.

Never Nude

When I was in third year, my then-roommates theorized that I did not exist in the naked form.

My bedroom door did not close properly, and this led to the door opening by mistake a lot. After living together for several months, someone pointed out that by now, they should have seen me nude at least once. The odds were just not in my favour. So my roommates jokingly set a goal to catch me naked before the end of the year, and I jokingly bought a bolt lock for my door.

Towards the end of the year when the joke had been mostly forgotten, I was getting ready to move out, and my roommate Chris was trying to find someone to take my room. One evening, while I was getting changed, he knocked on my door. I had forgotten to lock it, and I was wearing only underwear, so I just held a shirt to cover myself and called out, "I'm naked!".

"SWEET!" Chris yelled, shouldering the door open and rushing in. Then he looked at me, saw that I was not completely naked, shook his head and muttered "damn" before closing the door again. The horrified young woman who witnessed this incident decided not to take the room.